The Feelings Within
by thefamouscookieeater17
Summary: Ritsu x Mio One-shot: Ritsu has feelings for Mio but is too scared to say it. They fight. Mio goes to Europe. Will this be the end of such a long friendship or is there still some hope for the two of them?


Ritsu was sitting on her bed with the laptop on top of her legs. She had been this way for at least twenty minutes staring at the blank pages in front of her eyes. It was a very important essay for a very important class and yet she couldn't concentrate on it. She sure felt the pressure of writing something since she had to delivery it by midnight, but Mio and that night was all she could think about.

_"I can't believe it... seriously..."_, Ritsu thought. She placed the laptop next to her and lay back on the bed staring at the ceiling for a few moments. "_I'm being stupid, I know it but... Damn it! Why now?!"_, Ritsu looked over at the background of her laptop and sighed. Mio's smiling face against hers was always a good image to look at, but somehow in that moment she felt like it punched her stomach and made her feel sick.

She left herself wonder about that night's events.

**[Flashback On]**

_Ritsu lit up a cigarette and stood under her umbrella waiting for Tsumugi, Yui and Azusa. It was raining cats and dogs and as usual the others were late. The streets were mostly empty because of the bad weather even though it was a Friday night. It was Mio's birthday party and so everyone was supposed to gather at a nice restaurant at downtown Tokyo where they went the year before._

_Ritsu threw her cigarette on the ground and stepped on it until it was off. She heard familiar voices approaching and smiled towards them. The girls all said "Hi" enthusiastically and went inside the restaurant. They sat at a round table that was reserved for them._

_"Does anyone know where the hell is Mio", asked Ritsu after telling the waitress to give them a few more minutes before they ordered anything._

_" We thought she was coming with you as usual", replied Tsumugi. "Has anyone tried to call her?"_

_"I did a couple of times but she didn't pick up", Ritsu pulled her phone out of her pocket and tried calling once more. "She's not picking up. Did any of you talk to her yesterday"_

_-"Not exactly. I received a text from her saying for us to meet here and that was all. Though, she did say the other day she had something important to announce today, so maybe that's why she's late and not picking up her phone. ", Tsumugi tried to remember what it was but she had no memory of Mio saying anything specific._

_Half an hour and multiple missed calls later, Mio showed up. For everyone's surprise she wasn't alone: a very tall and handsome boy with dark hair and deep green eyes followed her to the table._

_"Hey, everyone! I'm sorry I'm late! I dropped my phone on the ground on my way here and now it is no longer working properly that's why I didn't say anything." , Mio sat next to Ritsu and the boy sat right beside her. _

_" Well, I guess you're all wondering about him.", Mio giggled and blushed slightly. "This is Matsumoto Akira-san. He's my boyfriend."_

_Everyone was a bit shocked at the news and they couldn't really react since it was so sudden, nonetheless they all greeted the boy and presented themselves awkwardly._

_The night went on a strange mood not because they weren't getting along with Matsumoto-san but because Ritsu was the only one who was not being receptive to the boy. She refused to make proper conversation with the group whenever he talked, so she passed most of the night staring at her food or her phone. Mio thought Ritsu's behavior was not acceptable and called her on the side._

_"What the hell is wrong with you? Why can't you make an effort to meet him before you jump into conclusions? It's always the same thing, Ritsu." , Mio sounded mad and sad at the same time._

_"I'm not jumping into conclusions. I just don't like him, therefore I won't make an efford to be his friend." _

_"Ritsu, you're not being reasonable. He's a very nice guy and since I talked wonders about you, he was very excited to meet you. Please, don't be like this.", Mio sounded much calmer now._

_Ritsu ended up agreeing into being nicer to Matsumoto-san but she couldn't help but despise him. She had always hated Mio's boyfriends over the years but this one had a special glow. Ritsu couldn't quite describe it but Mio acted differently around him: she wasn't as shy and her smile was all over the place. For some reason, her guts hated him even more for that._

_By the end of the night, everyone was already a bit tipsy and Ritsu drove them all home except for Mio whose boyfriend offered to take home. "_You probably just want to take advantage of her drunk self, you pig.", _Ritsu thought to herself as she drove away from the Karaoke bar with Tsumugi, Yui and Azusa. _

**[Flashback Off]**

Ritsu woke up from her thoughts with a vibration sound that came from her phone. It was a text from Tsumugi asking if she wanted to meet at their usual coffee place. Ritsu thought about it for a little bit and decided it was better to go since she wasn't doing anything anyways. She got up and got dressed quickly, grabbed the car keys and stepped outside her apartment walking calmly.

When Ritsu arrived, Tsumugi was already sitting at a table waiting.

"Hey, Mugi! What's up?"

"Hi, Ricchan! Oh, I just ordered some tea and chocolate cake. I hope that's okay."

"Yes, of course.", Ritsu sat down and put her jacket on the back of the chair as the waitress brought the orders.

"I'm guessing you know why I called you here.", Tsumugi took a sip of her tea.

"Look if it's because of Mio and her stupid boyfriend, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause a bad vibe. - Ritsu stared at her cake while playing with it."

"I know, I know." Tsumugi smiled when her eyes met Ritsu's. "But the real question here is: when are you going to stop running from what you feel?"

"What do you mean?", Tsumugi's expression turned really serious and Ritsu decided to look away.

"I think you know _exactly_ what I mean. Ritsu, there's no point in hiding it. It's just the two of us here.", Tsumugi took another sip of her tea without looking away from Ritsu.

"There's also no point in admiting it. It's not going to change anything." , Ritsu blushed a little bit and tried to focus her look on the plate.

"It will make you feel more relieved. I promise your words are safe with me.", Tsumugi ate a little bit of her cake before talking again. "You love her, don't you?"

"Too much for my own sake, I think. I can't even remember for how long I've been in love with her.", Ritsu faced Tsumugi with a sad smile on her lips. "Do you think the others noticed as well?"

"I don't think so. Yui and Azusa are way too air-headed to notice something like that and Mio has no clue. However, Sawa-chan is a whole other story. I think she was the first one to notice, actually.", Tsumugi smiled. "But worry not. She would never say a word."

"Was I that obvious all along? I mean... I tried to hide it the best I could.", Ritsu drank a little more tea after a long sigh.

"You did well, don't worry. You know, Mio thinks you're mad at her and she's very confused because she can't understand why. Maybe you should go talk to her."

"And tell her what _exactly_? "Hi, Mio. I'm not mad at you, I'm just in love with you so I'm sorry I got jealous over your boyfriend.", Ritsu said in a mocking tone. "I don't think it's a good idea to be around her at all."

"That's debatable. I'm not saying you should tell her about your feelings but, at least, let her know you're not mad. She has been worrying about it since that night."

Once at home, Ritsu thought a lot about what Tsumugi had told her. Maybe she should give Mio a call, invite her over for dinner and work things out as they always did. Somehow she felt like this time things were going to be different. Perhaps it was just because she was letting herself embrace the feelings she had for Mio, even though she couldn't do much about them.

Ritsu looked over to her phone and decided to give Mio a call. It rang for awhile until someone picked up. On the other side a male voice spoke: _"Ricchan? Is that you? It's Matsumoto-san here. Mio can't talk now, but I'll tell her you called."_

Ritsu sighed in defeat and got back to her essay.

Weeks passed since then. Ritsu had stopped seeing Mio in college and lost all faith in getting her friend back. She just passed her days locked up in her apartment hitting the drums or watching cheap tv while eating fast food from the restaurant downstairs.

For a change, Ritsu decided to take her car and go somewhere for a coffee. She stopped by the book store to take a quick look at the new mangas. Accidentally, she bumped into Matsumoto-san there. After an awkward moment of forced small talk, Ritsu ended up knowing Mio went on an exchange program and was travelling through Europe for three months. That sure explained why she hadn't been seeing Mio at college.

Time went by. Ritsu felt like as if she had gone into a deep coma and had lost all sense of the passage of time. It seemed like yesterday she was going to Mio's birthday party in January and now it's Christmas already.

Yui planned a Christmas party at her house and it sounded a lot of fun, but Ritsu wasn't sure about going. It would be very awkward and weird to see Mio after such a long time. They had never spent so long without talking or sorting things out. She had no idea about what Mio had been doing with her life - everyone seemed to avoid that theme whenever around her - so everything was a big blur.

_"I should call Mugi. I'm sure she will help me."_, Ritsu thought as she picked up the phone to call her friend. Tsumugi was always reliable and ready to help whenever needed, so it didn't take long for her to show up at Ritsu's with a box full of sweets and a smile on her face.

"I brought all your favorites because you sounded a bit down on the phone.", She said as placing the cakes on the living room table. "What's wrong?"

"It's about Yui's Christmas party. I don't know if I should go."

"Oh, that... Mio, I see. If I were you, I wouldn't worry much about it.", Tsumugi handed over one of the sweets to Ritsu. "I'm not sure Mio will be there."

"Why is that?", Ritsu felt her heart pound strongly against her chest and her hands shake.

"Well, she hasn't returned from Europe, you know... She was supposed to spend three months there and then return but she managed to extend her visa and the program for another seven months. Of course, that would mean she'd be back in Japan by this month but she's liking it so much, she's thinking about staying. Permanently.", Tsumugi took a bite of her cake.

"I see...", Ritsu stared at her own hands for awhile spacing out. "Mugi, I miss her. A lot."

"I know, my dear. I know. We all miss her and Yui has been trying to convince her to come but she doesn't seem to be found of the idea. Maybe you could talk to her."

"Me?! Are you kidding?! No way. It's too awkward and I don't think I cross her mind at all anymore.", Tsumugi looked at Ritsu with a serious expression. "What?!"

"If you think Mio doesn't care for you, you're an idiot. Of course, she does. She's just living a different life now and since you two grew apart, it was hard for her to keep you in this new life of hers."

"She hasn't called in months, Mugi. I don't think she cares anymore."

"Have _you_ called her? Have you thought of the fact that maybe she thinks you're the one who doesn't care anymore?", Tsumugi was now talking in a rather severe tone. "Stop being such a baby, Tainaka Ritsu. If you want Mio-chan back, you're going to have to fight for her."

Ritsu spent that night awake thinking. Should she call Mio? Would Mio even pick up if she saw her number? She had no idea but she was about to find out. The phone rang for awhile and then a familiar voice spoke on the other end: "_Hello, who's this?_" _"I-It's me. Ricchan." "Ritsu? Oh, hi..." "Hum... Mugi-chan told me you're not coming to Yui's Christmas party. We all miss you." "I miss you all too but I really don't think I'm going to be able to make it." "Mio... I miss you. Please, come." _A deadly silence came from the other side. Mio broke it by saying she had to go to class and the call ended. Ritsu wasn't really sure about what to feel. That was a strange call that ended without a decent response from Mio.

A couple of weeks went by and Christmas day arrived. Ritsu woke up early that morning and took a long relaxing shower. It was snowing a lot outside and it was really cold, so the warm water down her body felt wonderfully. She got dressed in a pair of skinny jeans, a sweater and a hoodie on top. She really didn't feel like putting on nicer clothes and those would keep her warm for the day.

Ritsu grabbed tha car keys and her phone. She was supposed to go pick up Azusa from the college dorms and then stop by the record store to buy something for Tsumugi with her help before heading to Yui's. And so they did. They bought Tsumugi an album of one of her favorite European bands: The Arctic Monkeys. Ritsu knew she would be thrilled to have it.

At Yui's the party had already begun. Christmas' jingles were playing loudly and the voices of Tsugumi, Yui and Ui melted together inside. Ritsu rang the doorbell, a very smiley Ui opened it and they walked in. It smelled divine: cakes and sweets were all over the place.

"Ricchan! Azunyan!", Yui jumped onto their arms happily and then pushed Azusa. "We just did the chocolate cake! It's baking now, come see it, Azunyan!"

"I can tell you have it all done. Thank you!", Ritsu put her arm around Ui and smiled. The doorbell rang. "Are we waiting for someone else?"

"No, not really..." Tsumugi opened the door and everyone stood in their places staring in anticipation. A smiling Mio was outside and jumped to Tsumugi's arms. "Mio-chan?! What are you doing here?!"

"Well, I decided it was time to come home. I missed you guys so much!" Mio walked in and she didn't even look like herself. She had shorter hair, a different style of clothing which was more revealing and she didn't seem to be embarrassed whatsoever as she jumped onto everyone's arms greeting them. "Oh, I hope I'm not imposing..."

"Don't be silly, Mio-chan! We are all very happy you're here. Now, the party has started for real!", Yui couldn't hold the happiness in her voice.

Everyone helped with the last set of things left to prepare. It was a very beautiful Christmas table filled with the most delicious meals and desserts. They ate and decided they would clean everything the next day. Ritsu and Mio didn't really talk all night until it was almost midnight. The brunette approached her friend and gave her a small box. _"I'm sorry things were bad between us for so long. I just want us to be friends again." _was all Ritsu could say until Mio jumped in her arms in the warmest of hugs. They both smiled as Mio opened the tiny box: it was a simple silver ring with both their names craved inside that she immediately put on her ring finger as she noticed Ritsu had one as well.

Midnight came and presents were exchanged. Tsumugi noticed a silly smile on Ritsu's face which indicated everything was back to normal between her and Mio.

"Oh, I just remembered: Mio-sempai how about Matsumoto-san? Shouldn't you be with him today? It's Christmas and he's your boyfriend after all.", Azusa asked and everyone went silent waiting for Mio's response.

"Oh, about that... I broke up with him two or three months ago. It seems like he had been cheating on me the whole time I spent in Europe. I met a lot of interesting people, so it was for the best!"

"Mio-chan, you don't even sound like yourself! Europe changed you a lot.", Tsumugi pointed out.

"I guess it did. It was a whole new world and so I had to adjust to it. But now I'm back and that's all that matters!" Everyone agreed and as they played around with their gifts, Mio took the chance to call Ritsu on the side. "I really want to talk to you. Can we go over to your house tonight?"

"Y-yes, of course.", Ritsu was a bit surprised but decided to play along with her friend's request.

They called it a night and told everyone they were leaving, promising to return first thing in the morning the next day. They got inside the car where Ritsu turned the AC on because it was freezing. She could tell Mio was a bit tipsy, so she let her friend sleep the entire trip back home hoping she would be more sober by then.

Ritsu drove with a silly smile stuck on her face. She was really happy Mio was back and that they sorted things out and were friends again. They got to Ritsu's house around 2 a.m and Mio was, indeed, a bit more sober. They went up the staircase and then inside the apartment. Ritsu apologized for the mess and took Mio into her bedroom.

"I'm just going to clean up the living room a bit. I'll be back in a minute. If you want some pjs you know where to get them from.", Ritsu said as she was about to leave but Mio grabbed her wrist and pulled her friend to the bed. Mio stood on top of Ritsu and pulled their faces close.

"Mio, what are you doing...?"

"Say it, Ritsu! Say it!"

"Say what?! You're drunk, Mio! Let go of me!" Ritsu tried to break free but failed.

"Say it! Say it! Say it! Don't be a coward and for once say what you really feel! Say it!" Mio was so furious she started to cry.

"Mio... I... I don't know what you're talking about." Mio raised her hand and slapped Ritsu's cheek really hard. "What the...?!"

"Say it, Ritsu! Fucking say it! I'm so sick of..." Ritsu pulled Mio closer and pressed their lips deeply against each other.

"I love you, Mio. There, I said it: I love you. And I love you in a girlfriend kind of way not just as best friends." Mio stared into Ritsu's eyes for a moment and stepped back, sitting calmly in the bed.

"Was it that hard? I'm guessing not. I'm going to get those pjs", Mio undressed herself completely wondering around the bedroom only in her underwear. "Where do you keep your pjs again? I think I forgot."

Ritsu was extremely confused and shocked with the whole situation. She pointed at one of the drawers as she stood up to leave the bedroom. Mio pulled her once again and whispered in her ear: _"I'm right here and you're seriously not going to do anything about it? Do I really have to spell it out for you, Ritsu?"_, Ritsu's heart started to pound really hard against her chest as Mio's hands pulled her sweater out and pushed her back into the bed. For as much as she wanted to be with Mio in _that way_, she never wanted it to happen like this. Therefore, she pulled Mio away from her and said in a very serious tone:

"I'm sorry, Mio, but I can't do it. Not like this. Not with you drunk." Mio laughed loudly and lay back on the bed. Ritsu lit up a cigarette as she did the same. "What's wrong with you?"

"I love you, Ritsu. I always have and I know you do too. These past ten months have been hell for me. The only reason I'm here it's because you called. I thought you didn't care anymore." Mio was now facing the ceiling with a serious expression on her face.

"I never stopped caring. I could never do that. I love you too much unlike those stupid boyfriends of yours..." Mio giggled as Ritsu said these words.

Ritsu put off her cigarette and took off the rest of her clothes. She closed the bedroom door and turned the lights off. Mio observed her lover's movements attentively as she walked back into bed. They pulled the covers up and stood still for a few minutes until Mio crawled into Ritsu's arms that held her tightly. There was a beautiful silence that filled the room. Their thoughts consumed their minds completely: thoughts about them. Thoughts about life and the future. They left themselves wonder until one of them moved. Mio brought herself closer to Ritsu and gave her a deep kiss that turned into many more. Their bodies robbing against each other created a wave of heat that made it unbearable to stay under the covers even though it was freezing. Her mouths craved for more and their bodies started to scream for touch.

As the night went by, the silent was only broke by the pleasuring sounds of the two creatures as they wrapped their souls into one.


End file.
